Saturday, August 15, 2015


I feel like I can get my life back and get this painting out-of-my-MEEAAAANNND. It was driving me TITS. If I wasn’t to have stopped now I would have gone round in circles and carried on just painting numerous versions of it until it looked something like that mad fella above...
I might do a little tinkering. There’s bits that are a bit sloppy. But you won’t really see it because you’re looking at it through a monitor and not close up. I like to get right up close to paintings and I like them to work up close in the same way they would if you were looking at them from across the room. I don’t want stuff of mine to be hyper real. I don’t need it to be even that precise, but I want to feel I can really control what I’m doing in the right way.
At the minute because of resources, as in, I no way have the dosh to pay for someone to sit for me, all my stuff has to be from reference. I HOPE I can create work that even though it’s taken from reference, has some life in it. I never work from good quality photographs and I recommend you never do. If your photographs are too clean and precise, they tell lies about light and shadow, LIIIIEEEEESSSS I TELL YOU. Images in a photograph can look weird. Like sometimes if you really look, the way a camera has captured something kind of looks like a bad drawing. You can’t rely on that. You get sloppy and brain dead and copy what you see without thinking about what you’re doing.
You want to create a work of art not just a copy. I did an A4 portrait once from my one inch screen from my shitty Nokia phone. Worked out pretty good. I liked it anyway. It’s not always about the detail. It’s the undefined that can make a painting really exciting. I want to say to all those fellas creating hyper realistic CG humans, “BLUR THE EDGES MAN” Life ain’t got no edges. It’s all just light and shadow.
MY POINT WAS, that I kind of feel I don’t know what I’m doing at times when it comes to painting. If you can draw, any one of us can take a reference, copy it and guaranteed, it’ll look pretty decent. Because we’ve practiced the skill of observation, and how we interpret what we see and use our little monkey hands to do it.
But I haven’t painted enough to really explore how to handle paint in a cool way or using specific brushes and going back to this after such a long time (it’s one of my first paintings that I’ve really sat down to work on over a long period of time after about 7/8 years or so) you do this stuff and there’s no adjusting the brightness and contrast, or the colour balance or changing the brushes so they’re just right, or a quick control z because you just gone and feckin well used your dark brush to make a highlight on the collar forgetting it was your dark brush and now there’s a massive dark splodge where the white should be and no matter how you try you can’t seem to mix the right colours to get just the right lightness.
No, there’s none of that mcgubbins. You’ve got to work it out and it’s feckin tricky. I guess until I make hunners of money and I can afford to pay people to sit for me, I’ll always feel a little bit of a fraud. It’s partly the reason why I stopped painting years ago. I just thought until I can get more time, or someone to sit for a while, then that’s it.
But that was STOOPID.
I shouldn’t have stopped, you should never stop what you love doing because it doesn’t half take feckin ages to get back into it again.
Anyway, for the now, the job’s done.